Really???

So I'm starting to blog because being a teacher brings about such awesome stories that really need to be shared.
I teach first grade. As a teacher, you always need to be on alert. Is that child chewing gum? Not allowed. Put it in the trash. Did he just pinch her? Is that chapstick they're passing around? Uh, the label says, Vagisil!?! (True story. It's a goodie but from another teacher) Are you actually writing? How long has she been in the bathroom? As a teacher, you're not just teaching. While you're teaching, there are a million other things going on in your mind and you need to look like the only thing you're thinking about is the lesson at hand.
During a read aloud last week, all students are at attention. In between pages, I scan the class to make sure they ARE all in attention. I see one kid chewing. Gum? "Johnny, gum in the trash please." Johnny scrunches up his face and shakes his head.
"I'm not chewing gum." As he speaks I see something blue inside his mouth.
"Johnny, open your mouth please." He takes a bit of time to shuffle some things around in his mouth. He opens his mouth. His tongue is a deep shade of blue. "Johnny what were you eating?"
Johnny furiously shakes his head with his mouth clamped shut, "Nothing."
"Johnny, your tongue is blue. You have something underneath your tongue. What is it?"
Johnny looks down at the rug. Slowly, he again shifts things around in his mouth. Then one by one, a small blue piece of a crayon is spit out of his mouth onto the rug. Really??? A crayon? We just got back from lunch. They give you lunch if you don't have it. A crayon????
Melissa then blurts out, "I saw him chewing on a colored pencil!"
Dillan says, "I saw him bite a crayon!"
"Okay Johnny, eating a crayon is not okay. That can hurt your stomach. Are we going to eat crayons or colored pencils anymore?"
Johnny and the class say in unison, "Nooooo."